


Here's to This Breath

by theyfillwithfire



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: (its laf and peggy), Multi, Nonbinary Character, Pining, angsty alex strikes again, single dad burr
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 16:12:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6712066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theyfillwithfire/pseuds/theyfillwithfire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The three men stared at the letter, unbelieving. "Alex... loves us?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Here's to This Breath

**Author's Note:**

> its past three in the mornign i'm sad and I want to cry so here have this
> 
>  
> 
> title is from "white walls" by the maine

When the three men walked into the living room together they were expecting to see Alexander sitting on the couch with his laptop. They were expecting to see him glance up at them and smile and take a sip of his coffee. Instead they were met with a piece of paper on the table where Alex's favorite coffee mug should be resting.  
With a quick glance at the other two men, John picked up the paper and started reading.

"Hey guys.  
I will be honest with you all right now I am incredibly drunk, but the alcohol is making this easier.  
I love you John, Lafayette, Hercules.

I love you all very, very much and it's slowly killing me inside knowing that I can't have you all and I know that it's selfish of me but I can't handle the paining jealousy in my heart Lafayette when you flirt with someone else and the flutter in my chest whenever you smile John or when you laugh Hercules I swear everything else seems irrelevant and I could die in that moment happy.

Hercules when you laugh I forget everything. My father, my mother's limp, cold arms around me when I was twelve, the loud screaming of the hurricane above the shelter, my legacy. I forget it all. All I can focus on is the way your shoulders shake and the feeling of my heart tightening. Your voice in the morning gives me the same feeling, when you've only just gotten up and you're not fully awake yet. I say I like to be up early to write, but really I just like to watch you stumble into the kitchen in your sweats and t-shirt trying to make coffee. I like listening to you grumble about making breakfast even though you never do and we end up waiting for Laf to do it. I like watching you sew and knit and I like hearing you sing in the shower. I don't know if you knew I could hear you when you did that, but I can. You're a really good singer, I find it beautiful.

Lafayette, you're a gorgeous mother fucker and you know it. I constantly find myself blown away by you. You're the reason John and I met, you're the whole reason I ever fell in love with you three and for that I am forever grateful. I'm so in awe of you. Your nose crinkles up when you smile really big, did you know that? It's adorable. It sounds cliche, but its the only way I can describe it, your eyes always sparkle like starswhen you're happy, it's beautiful. You're beautiful. And no, you don't have to be a boy or a girl and you can be whoever you want and you deserve the world and I hope you get it. I love you.

John Laurens. I won't forget when Lafayette introduced us at the bar. I still think back to that night with you, our one spontaneous moment of "hey, maybe we're in love." I guess you were horny. I guess I was too. But then I actually fell in love with you like a dumbass. I love watching you at the rallies, you're so passionate and I love you for it. Your freckles look like stars. They remind me of Lafayette's eyes. 

I love you all so much, it's stupid. I love you so much it hurts and I really needed you to know why I'm doing this. I'm moving out of our apartment. I love you all and its weird. I don't want to hurt any of you and I definately don't want to ruin all the good we've got now. Better to quit while you're ahead I suppose.

Much love,  
A. Ham"

"

**Author's Note:**

> this is super short but it'll get better i promise  
> but dont hold me to that bc i'll probably break it


End file.
